Neurodivergent Homeschool Life

This morning I woke up with the best plan. We would eat breakfast, get ready, and head out the door by 7:45. I figured this would give us a good morning regulation walk before it got too hot, and we would stop by the grocery store on our walk home to get a few things we were out of. When we got back, I planned a fun water table morning with our neighbors, and then we would do homeschool in the afternoon during the heat of the day. 

My daughter, on the other hand, woke up not feeling her best, yet full of a million questions. By 8:00 we had already discussed communist governments, single-use plastics and their effect on marine life, watched two videos on YouTube about the ocean and were wrapping up the Magic School Bus:Takes a Dive episode. All while she’s used a large pile of Kleenex. My morning plans had gone out the window. And honestly? This is where homeschooling a neurodivergent child has taught me some of my biggest lessons. The goal isn’t always to complete the plan—the goal is to notice what my child needs and respond.

Even last year, these big shifts in plans would’ve thrown me off. I would’ve pushed through to the original plan, dysregulating both myself and my daughter in the process- all in the name of checking things off the list. This year, I’m learning from my past mistakes. Even though my type A brain is telling me to stick to the plan, I know that that’s not best for either of us. So here’s what our improvised day will (likely) look like.

Finding Regulation Through Movement

A big part of why I wanted to get out and walk was for my own morning regulation. I didn’t get any movement in yesterday, and I honestly didn’t sleep the best. I had really hoped that getting out and getting some sunshine early on would set the day. Plus, being able to swing by the grocery store on our walk home checked off a few things that I needed to get done. But neither of those will actually happen. So what will I do? Find the time today when she is resting to get a workout in indoors. All that matters for my regulation is that I move at some point today. 

Sensory Regulation Through Water Play

I was excited to let my daughter have a morning of water table play with her friends for her own regulation before we tackled homeschool. Thankfully, our neighbors know how germy kids can be so this will still happen. Even if they weren’t involved, I know that playing in water outside really calms my daughter’s nervous system. Whether or not we actually accomplish what we plan today, regulation still comes first, especially when sick. Many neurodivergent parents know that being sick throws everything off. For my daughter, we know that sensory gets drastically worse and nonverbal communication increases. Being sick take such a toll on your system. It’s the perfect time to go back to the basics and focus on regulation first. The water table is the perfect tool to facilitate that.

Letting Curiosity Guide Learning

I had no plans to discuss communist governments, single use plastic, or sea turtles and straws today. But kids in general have such fascinating brains. Today’s original lesson plan involved, math, phonics/language, and reading. Do I think we’ll do all of that? No, not today. My goal for the day is first regulation. We’ll do water table play this morning, have a good lunch, enjoy some quiet time, and then see if she’s ready to learn. If she is, will start with 15 minutes of math and see how that goes. If she’s not having it, we’ll stop math and just read some books. Pushing through these tough days doesn’t force learning. If anything, it creates a negative relationship with learning. I want my daughter to have a good relationship with exploring and learning about all there is in our world, not have negative associations with it. 

So while there are some days that don’t go according to plan, we need to know it’s okay to change the plan. One day of deviations doesn’t ruin your schedule. If anything, it teaches our children to be flexible and know it’s okay to take a step back when life gets hard. I know there will be some things my daughter always struggles with, just like there are some things I still struggle with. But I want her to know she can slow down and give herself grace on those hard days.

If today is one of those hard days for you too, you might also enjoy my ideas for low-pressure homeschool activities that help us keep learning without adding stress. Happy Monday y’all.